[PanicZone] Re: Today's challenge
Well, I managed to go, but I had a terrible time -- not because people were mean, but I just was too depressed to join in. Oh yeah, besides social anxiety and agoraphobia I have depression.
--- In PanicZone@yahoogroups.com, "Hannah" <oopsiedoop@...> wrote:
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> Today's challenge is socializing. I also have social anxiety. In fact a lot of my agoraphobia is about what people might think if they saw me. As if they will pass judgment when they see me at the store and whatnot.
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> Anyway, I am reading Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You by Albert Ellis. I think that's the title. I am liking it quite bit, but it's not easy. It's very hard. I have disputed my irrational thoughts for about half an hour now. Anxiety lessened somewhat but still remains, but I've stopped being able to identify any further Irrational Beliefs. The last one sticks with me. I grew up in a very chaotic environment where my very intelligent parents were sometimes kind to me, as in having dinner on the table, and then out of nowhere paranoid, rageful and hit me, out of contempt for something I said meaning no harm or the supposed look on my face. So now I think everyone's like that and the truth is they can be to some degree. Ellis argues that people are in fact very fallible and will sometimes not treat you well. He doesn't tell you exactly what to think in this situation though. But the idea would be something that ends up with you can still have a reasonably good time even if someone does, or even if a lot of people do. And it wouldn't be AWFUL. It would just be too bad or disappointing. Also there is no reason people MUST be nice to me, so it doesn't make sense to not go because they might not be. That's how HE sees it. To me of course it WOULD be awful! It would ruin my night. It would ruin my life, even, because I'd always remember it, the way I always remember when people haven't been nice to me in the past and so I am afraid they will do that again. I guess this method falls short because I can't convince myself it wouldn't be awful if they weren't nice to me. The best I can say is chances are they will be nice to me. But that is not true either. Because usually when I go places people ignore me. And this hurts me. I can also tell myself that it's more awful not to go anywhere and not live your life because people ignore you, but this wouldn't be true for me. The reason I am becoming a recluse is because it's not true for me. I would rather lose my life in the safety of my own home than spend it out there having a little fun but a LOT of hurt. My therapist told me then not to complain. But there has to be an answer, a way out of this! I have never had a good therapist either!
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have a panic attack is that it will pass
whether it passes quickly or slowly
depends whether I drop the idea of it
being dangerous or not.
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