[PanicZone] Re: Introducing myself
Hi Kim & welcome. I'm new to the group, also. You sound like you've read a lot of books. I'd like to hear more about how you feel. Also, have you been checked for irritable bowel syndrome, Crohn's disease or any number of other bowel problems that might present the way yours does?
I will be 60 in Oct. and I've had this group of disorders for as far back as I can remember probably as a result of all the abuse I went through as a young person. I've always been depressed and have been told that I'd have bad days and worse days but never good because I don't "cycle" above the midline. In the 80's my panic disorder became so bad right after nursing school that I could hardly work. I kept having to quit so you can imagine what my resume looks like and ya just can't explain to employers about this problem. I was hangin' on with all this plus trouble going out until 3/2006 when my husband suicided and then I became 99.9% housebound. Sometimes I'll live off of soda & potatoes for a week if that's all I have in the house because I just can't get out. Everyone asks me why and I can't tell them. All I know is that my feet turn to lead and they just won't go. It brings to mind the term "frozen with fear." This past Jan. my 85 yo mother died
and even though we had a weird love-hate, hate-hate relationship, I had NO idea just how badly it would effect me. Now I feel like a 3 yo looking for my mother, too, and I really can't get out of the house. The world feels terrifying. In between all that, in 2008, my brother-in-law suicided so I am over the edge in dealing with grief. All my life my family has thought I was crazy. Now my grown kids have abandoned me and even my sister won't talk to me. I'm living in El Paso, TX after my late husband brought me to NM 4 mos. before his death, all by myself with no support system. Out here, I'm told, the Hispanics don't go to counselors for much of anything therefore there is no one with experience in this field. El Paso is 99% Hispanic. I've been on every medication over the years and gone to numerous counselors but nothing works. The tricyclics were great but they don't use them much anymore because of the side effects. Cymbalta & Xanax work really,
really well for my panic disorder but don't do a thing for the agoraphobia. However, it is really hard to get a Dr. to prescribe Xanax even though I've been on it since it first came out.
I just don't understand this agoraphobia. Panic disorder I understand as an RN but that doesn't help when I have an attack and certain meds., esp. antibiotics, will trigger panic attacks as will borderline low blood sugar. Learned that the hard way. I sure would like to hear from someone who's had luck overcoming agoraphobia!
~~Leandra
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have a panic attack is that it will pass
whether it passes quickly or slowly
depends whether I drop the idea of it
being dangerous or not.
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