Re: [PanicZone] *Trigger* death of a dear friend
I totally understand how you feel, i went through in the past few years my
dads death and my childhood friends fathers death who was like a father to
me and my aunt who i spoke to every day, she had a heart attack a day after
i talked to her on the phone, and i couldn't believe it she was only 50
years old, and sounded so happy she saw her brother and went out to eat with
him the night before, my dad he was sick for many years, and my childhood
best friends dad got cancer, and died one year after my dad. I feel the
medical system treated both of them poorly, and hospital system is terrible and
neglectful towards my dad, and also towards my childhood friends father, i
watched them suffer, and helped take care of them till they died, my dad
died after falling out of bed with no rails and ending up on the floor for
hours, his vital signs were not checked or anything, and they just threw him
back in bed without even checking to see if anything was wrong, at that
point he lost mobility of his legs, he was in a veterans hospital, and he was
left for hours on the floor, twice he fell and no one noticed for hours,
and finally when they saw he was unresponsive they waited till midnight to
call an ambulance to take him to another hospital, and did not give the
hospital any information about my dads condition or anything they just dropped
him there so they didn't have to take responsibility and they did not let
my mom know until much later about this. We have a wrongful death suit due
to negligence. It is very painful to watch people you love get sick and die,
it is like absolute torture, and you feel hopeless or helpless unable to
make them well or relieve them of the nightmare. It has a horrible effect on
your life, i saw my childhood friends father die in the hospital, i saw him
dead, the worst experience i ever had, i had to do it because my childhood
friend she wanted me to go in the room to say goodbye i regret seeing him
dead...
I ended up on tranquilizers while my dad was sick and having pannic
attacks, and anxiety everyday he was sick for 4 years, afraid that this would be
the day i get the call that he is dead, everyday i lived with that for years
he was in and out of the hospital and he entered the hospital for a bloody
nose ended up with loosing a lot of blood which the hospital did not
notice, and followin day he fell broke his hip in the hospital and end of the
week he ended up in intensive care having a heart attack, i had to move him
to another hospital, where he immediately got blood transfusions and he
lived four years longer as a result of just moving him to a private hospital.
He would have died the same week if he was not moved. Its very sad how he
was treated and what he went through, and how he died. TO imagine how he must
have felt in that situation, on the floor alone, no one to help him, no
one to take care of him properly in the hospital, and we were not notified
that day until he was already in critical condition in another hospital my
mom got to the hospital the next day right before he died, he was unconscious
my mom was begging him to live, to make it through this, and it was like
he waited for my mom before he died, he died a few minutes after she got
there.
It makes me cry just to write this to you all, just to think about it, all
the deaths, in my family over the past few years, and close friends, its
just so traumatizing. And i am still not over it i did not get the chance to
mourn properly since it was one after the other and i had to be there for
other family members and be strong for them. But that is pretty much the
time when i ended up getting on medication to help i was emotional basketcase
crying hysterical it started with my dad, and i couldn't take it, i was not
strong enough to take it so that was when i had to make the decision to
get help, unfortunately the medicine only covered up the pain or numbed the
pain of these awful events, so i can understand and truly sympathize with
anyone who ever lost someone they truly love.
I believe that our loved ones watch out for us that only the body dies and
not the soul and they are probably watching out for us in our life now, and
we dont see it, but i know that they are there with you... and in your
heart forever, and someday when this life of ours is over we will see them
again, and be reuinited.
It is terrilbly sad to go through death of a loved one, especially a
shocking sudden death, however atleast the shocking sudden deaths are easier on
the person who dies, atleast you know they were not tortured for a long
period of time, much better then being tortured for a long time sick in and out
of hospitals and moaning and crying from being in absolute agony and
watching them die a slow death. That is worse for the person who dies and the
people around to see and not be able to stop it. Not be able to do anything
to make it better. That's very hard to realize that you have no control to
stop their suffering or make them feel better, you have no control over an
illness.... and you are unable to get the loved one proper care in this
medical system we have it is so corrupt with the insurance companies and dr.s
etc. no compassion and the nurses aids, etc. Its a very cold profession you
have to be ice cold to work in that sort of profession and not care at all.
And i have seen a lot of dr.s and nurses, treat patients badly and only
act like they are there when you are visiting the minute you leave they dont
bother to check on the patient. Its a disgrace, we need severe health care
regulations because this should not be allowed, for dr.s to commit such
malpractice. And for them not to be able to give someone blood who needs it
because insurance wont pay for it until their blood count is practically
zero. And they are almost dead. THats what i have seen. And i hate hospitals
and despise dr.s for this.
I understand what its like to loose someone you love and it is not an easy
thing to get over. I feel deep compassion for anyone who has lost a loved
one and i pray that you find peace from it. It is hard to find peace from
such a tragic loss.
In a message dated 3/23/2011 11:55:01 P.M. Pacific Standard Time,
cnaylor073@gmail.com writes:
Yeah... it's so sad; my mom and I were both torn up; I literally had
to take my Lex early after she told me this. We couldn't stop
crying... and the words he said were just ugh... so funny we cried and
laughed at the same time. I told mom she's one strong lady cause if I
discover somebody dead in my house I'm sorry call me crazy but... I
wouldn't be able to handle it. He was hospitalized last week and was
discharged a few days later fine. She said he was fine the night
before although he didn't wanna eat and she went shopping for him to
get him the things he liked just to make him eat something and the
next day he was gone. Everybody in the house sat and ate together; he
danced to music like nothing was happening. What a shock. Tc talk
soon hugs.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have a panic attack is that it will pass
whether it passes quickly or slowly
depends whether I drop the idea of it
being dangerous or not.
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