Re: [PanicZone] My 5.5 yo daughter has anxiety/panic attacks, should I pull her from school?
I have been trying to reply, but I get so upset remembering the battles I fought for my daughter, I'm having trouble editing.
Most importantly, trust your motherly instincts. You know her better than any one, do not let friends, family, teachers, administrators, convince you otherwise, or that you are making things worse.
Validate her feelings, there might not be a reason to feel afraid, but acknowledge that she does, and together you will find a way to comfort her.
Secondly, this is just school. Your daughter's mental health, and how she learns to work with her own feelings, is more important than kindergarten.
Seek out counselors, therapists, child study team that are acquainted with seperation anxiety, phobias, and panic. There are regulations in all states that make it possible for adaptations to be put in place for her, once she is diagnosed/classifie
Do not be afraid to have her classified, you are going to go through years of teachers not willing to adapt to your daughter's needs. A classified students needs are legally binding.
Be open and honest with her, even at this age, explain that GAD is common and is not crazy. Share with her the ways you deal with your issues and assure her that together you will learn to deal with hers.
Don't jump to medication. Try discussion and cognitive therapy, try everything that she can accept, so that when/if medication becomes neccesary, she is able to recognize the effect it has on her, and give you input regarding it.
I could give you a hundred million anecdotes about my daughter, and the fights I had to get her through the system safely. My priority was not the same as the schools, I didn't need for her to be straight A student that silently traveled onto High School graduation. I needed her to recognize her own strengths and weaknesses, to search out the areas she felt she could excel in, to find allies who recognized and rewarded the depths of her emotion, and embrace the differences that made her unique.
My daughter is now seventeen years old, she is a computer geek, first chair violinist, center of her social circle, artistic, insightful, empathetic, beautiful, intelligent, and wise beyond her years. She thinks about being a school guidance counselor, or therapist for adolescents.
Every fight I fought was worth it, and if I can share any of information or lend a supporting hand during your battle, I will be glad to do it.
Feel free to email me personally.
meryl williams
--- On Fri, 12/11/09, stronggirl101 <stronggirl101@
From: stronggirl101 <stronggirl101@
Subject: [PanicZone] My 5.5 yo daughter has anxiety/panic attacks, should I pull her from school?
To: PanicZone@yahoogrou
Date: Friday, December 11, 2009, 8:52 AM
Hi Everyone, I am new here and I am looking for advice about my 5.5 yo daughter. I apologize for the long post, but I really need some help!
She started Kindergarten this year and initially was doing well. She did develop a vocal tic (grunting) that we attributed to anxiety about a month into school. That cleared up and now she is having what I would call panic attacks (I have them too, so I know what they look/feel like) right before school. Today before school, she locked herself in the bathroom for 15 minutes, then when she came out we (my husband took the day off to help get her ready for school) tried to
get her boots one, she was kicking and screaming that she couldn't breathe, and her lips actually turned blue. Then she started dry heaving and stated she was going to throw up. Her eyes are full of fear also. They are wide and panicked. She screams that she is scare and that it is not o.k. to go to school. She has always been very anxious, but has always been a really good kid - she is a rule
follower.
I have met with her teacher and school counselor and they said she is fine academically, but obviously not emotionally on track with her peers. Her teacher is great, in fact I have heard she is the best Kindergarten teacher in the district, but I feel like they are telling me I should ignore her fear and force her to school anyway. They have said she won't grow to know she can conquer her fears if I don't force her to. Everyone else feels like I would be giving in to her if I pull her out. Her anxiety is very real, and I don't feel
like mainstream school is right for everyone, so why is it a big deal if I pull her and home school her?
Any advice you can give is greatly appreciated!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
have a panic attack is that it will pass
whether it passes quickly or slowly
depends whether I drop the idea of it
being dangerous or not.
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