[PanicZone] Re: Rough afternoon
Michelle, To be honest I don't know you well enough to know if you are a cold person or not. But.. at least you had the neccessary nerve and skill to do what had to be done.
I been there too. When I was a young boy my dad and grandpa taught me to hunt and shoot. And there have been times that I have had to dispatch an injured animal. You just do what you got to do.
God bless you! Perhaps it is not a coldness, but rather courage!
Your friend, Kevin
--- In PanicZone@yahoogroups.com, "growgirl1" <growgirl1@...> wrote:
>
> If you trigger easily, skip this one.
>
> I hate to do this, but I really need to just get this off of my chest.
> I have a very dear friend, my best friend, who is manic depressive. She is either up or she is down. She is also very bizarre in her choice of pets.
> Anyhow, she lives by herself with her animals. 7 Dogs, 4 cats, and 5 potbelly pigs. Now mind you, they ALL live in the house with her. These are her "babies" and she takes good care of them, but not of herself. This bothers me as she will not eat for days just so her pets can. Noble, but not smart.
> There is one pig who lives outside. His name is/was Wilbur. He is a regular hog. I'd say 600 lbs worth. Well last week two of her dogs got at Wilbur when she wasn't home and really did a number on him. The poor things was pretty chewed up. She has been doctoring him all week.
> Well, the infection took over and Wilbur needed put down. Soooooooo....
> an old friend of mine that I am not really close to anymore was called and her husband brought his back-hoe and dug the hole. It was uncomfortable being around them. I was elected to dispatch the pig. I comforted him, made sure he was calm, then dispatched him. Job done.
> Now, I don't have a problem with that. I have a problem with the fact that every time my friend looks at me she is going to see a person who can kill pets. I know that is weird, but to me is is a pig. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a pig. In my life, pigs have always been livestock. Something to be raised for what they provide, treated humanely and with respect.
> I have been having heart flutters and racey feelings and the anxiety is knocking at the door, but I am fighting it off. I guess I feel guilty for not feeling guilty or sad. I mean, I feel sad that her heart is broken over her pet, but it is just a pig.
> Am I a cold person not to be sad? I know she loved him, but I just am not feeling it. Had it been a dog or cat, I would be sad. I cry over dogs and cats. I have done that before and it makes me sad. But this doesn't.
> Am I really that cold of a person?
>
> Michelle
>
have a panic attack is that it will pass
whether it passes quickly or slowly
depends whether I drop the idea of it
being dangerous or not.
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